April 16, 2005

A Missed Flight

COLUMBIA, S.C. - The last time I woke with a start like that I was late for school in 1986.

The clock face read 5:50 a.m. It didn't look good for Delta's 6:30 a.m. flight to Tampa.

Initial panic only lasts four to five seconds until I realize I've got an extra seven minutes, but that was enough to jolt me awake. (Set the clock five or 10 minutes ahead and it's too easy to do the math.)

Dressing checklist:

- Clean underwear
- Shorts
- T-shirt
- Tevas
- Eye glasses
- Wallet
- Money.

Leave for the flight/morning checklist:

- Backpack (clothes)
- BBQ (packed with ice bags)
- Food for cats down
- Full water bowl
- iPod
- Car keys.

I was out the door in six minutes fantasizing about the shower I couldn't take.

Without speeding more than nine miles-per-hour over (I swear it's true), I got to the airport in 15 minutes. I was in the terminal three minutes after parking.

It was 6:13 a.m.

The self check-in kiosk wouldn't let me check in. The counter agent, calm as she was, resigned to my missing the flight due to tardiness. I was too tired to mount a serious fight and let her book a fucked up reschedule through two cities. Two. Who needs to fly through Tallahassee to get to Tampa? It's a slow boat to China I was ready to board but was going to fight.

I walked defeated back toward the garage and moving the truck to the slightly cheaper parking spots. I was immediately on the phone to Delta. I wasn't going to give up that easily.

The first agent I got on the phone with was no help. She dragged her "help" through wasted minutes, time I'll never get back.

Click.

Message to Dory sent about the missed flight. It should've begun, "I'm a jackass," but it didn't (I'm only honest like that to myself).

Checklist in car:

- Park car
- Charge cell phone as long as possible
- Call Delta back to see about stand-by flight between Atlanta and Tampa close eyes and breathe slowly, self-deprecate and laugh.

The next Delta agent busted her ass for me. She was sweet and helpful and we had a good laugh at my expense. She hooked me up slashing the Tallahassee stop out of the plan with a different connection in Atlanta.

So now my fuck up only ended up costing me 3.5 hours and $25. Much more relieved.

It's my fault. In the end that's what I'm going to have to tell myself, but I still can't stand airlines.

Check in for flights stops 30 minutes before scheduled departure. I tried cutting 15 minutes off of that. I feel like a dipshit, but I know I could've made that flight.

- Rich